Emotional
Intelligence

 

"I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."
- Mark Twain

The more often you listen to your discriminating awareness, the more easily you will be able to change your negative moods yourself, see through them, and even laugh at them for the absurd dramas and ridiculous illusions that they are.

Gradually you will find yourself able to free yourself more and more quickly from the dark emotions that have ruled your life, and this ability to do so is the greatest miracle of all.

The Tibetan mystic, Tertön Sogyal, said that he was not really impressed by someone who could turn the floor into the ceiling or fire into water. A real miracle, he said, was if someone could liberate just one negative emotion.

Real Education- Krishnamurti


"The mind creates through experience, tradition, memory. Can the mind be free from storing up, though it is experiencing? You understand the difference? What is required is not the cultivation of memory but the freedom from the accumulative process of the mind.

You hurt me, which is an experience; and I store up that hurt; and that becomes my tradition; and from that tradition, I look at you, I react from that tradition. That is the everyday process of my mind and your mind. Now, is it possible that, though you hurt me, the accumulative process does not take place. The two processes are entirely different.

If you say harsh words to me, it hurts me; but if that hurt is not given importance, it does not become the background from which I act; so it is possible that I meet you afresh. That is real education, in the deep sense of the word. Because, then, though I see the conditioning effects of experience, the mind is not conditioned"

Krishnamurti

Contents:

 

EMOTIONS

some quotes by Jim Rohn:

Emotions will either serve or master, depending on who is in charge.

Our emotions need to be as educated as our intellect.

It is important to know how to feel, how to respond, and how to let life in so that it can touch you.

Civilization is the intelligent management of human emotions.

Measure your emotions. You don't need an atomic explosion for a minor point.

Women have an incredible ability to pick up on emotional signals. For example, there are some wolves that are so clever they have learned to dress up like sheep. Man says, "Looks like a sheep. Talks like a sheep." Woman says, "Ain't no sheep!"

Excerpted from The Treasury of Quotes by Jim Rohn. Copyright 1994 Jim Rohn International. These quotes are by Jim Rohn, America's Foremost Business Philosopher. To subscribe to the Free Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine, go to


Why am I getting stressed?

 

Physical -

Why do we get so stressed?

Physical -

Ego -

Emotional -

Mental -

Spiritual -


 

Dealing with emotions

The name of the game is to take a few deep breaths, become aware of the emotion, then aware why you have the emotion, then release the emotion or transform the negative emotion into a positive one (Taoist Inner Alchemy)

Possible Lessons

Dr Joshua David Stone

You'll find that many of your life lessons will repeat themselves over and over again.

*****Dr Joshua David Stone, Soul Psychology - Highly recommended

 

Tips to stay at peace:

The key is to develop an awareness of when and why you get upset. One needs to develop self-awareness / mindfulness / vigilance and concentration through meditation.

Commune with nature -go to the sea, woods, fields etc.

Become aware of astrology and how that effects your emotions

Become aware of your centre (Taoists call it the Second Brain - in the - Lower Tan Tien - abdomen, behind the navel) - be aware when you lose your centre ie. become stressed / anxious etc. and realize why you lost your centre

Don't be too attached to peace or being centered. Some anger is normal. Just notice when you get angry, notice why, and focus on breathing.

Don't try to repress, reject or negate any negative emotions - just watch them -they soon pass

Don't be too attached to your emotions - many addicts are attached to their emotions - when feel low they have a drink /smoke. Instead just be aware of the craving impulse, the craved object and the process of craving - take few deep breaths, inspect intention and let it go.

work on your emotions, where they came from - maybe from childhood instances, traumas etc. Trauma plays a large role in cancer. eg. Losing spouse, death, divorce etc.

Reduce stress, fear, anger, desire, guilt, hatred etc. - by regular exercise, good healthy diet, plenty of rest, meditation, reiki and introspection - compassionate witnessing

The key is detached awareness. Be involved but be detached. Live here now, today - make the most of the relationship with that person today - don't take anyone for granted.

Hug your loved ones today - appreciate them, love, accept and understand them, now.

Be a Love finder not a fault finder - you will never be happy if trying to find fault in others all the time.

We don't like in others what we are uncomfortable within ourselves.

No-thing is permanent. The only constant is change!

See things as they truly are, with clear vision - no fear or desire attached.

Watch change, watch the present moment, be mindful of body (posture, breathing) , mind (thoughts & feelings) as much as you can.

Obstacles are the path.

Be comfortable with insecurity. Have security in not knowing, not needing to control.

Be content. Release the grasping and cling aspect of the mind.

Blessings

Greg

copyright. www.sortlifeout.co.uk

Happiness is not the absence of problems, it is knowing how to deal with them. Author Unknown.


Some quotes by Manuel Schoch, a clairvoyant-scientist from Zurich Univerisity.

 

Fear, Jealousy, Aggresion, Sadness

Compassion

Consciousness, Observation, Awareness

 

"I can't do anything about the thoughts that come into my head, but I can do about the ones that stay there!" Penney Peirce.


Cultivating Positive Emotions -
Becoming a Master of Your Emotions rather than a victim

 

There are three ways to deal with emotions

1. Reject the emotion as it comes along - send it back or away. Temporarily put it on the shelf. This is useful if you are experiencing negative emotions in public place

2. Transform the emotion - this is known as alchemy. You add positive emotions to balance out negative emotions - add more compassion, acceptance, loving-kindness, to an emotion to overcome fear & hate. Fear and doubt cannot exist where there is love. You cannot have the true feeling of love and hate at the same time. ie. Alchemy (see Mantak Chia books on Fusion of Five elements)

3. Liberate yourself and the emotions - The Dzogchen way - stop grasping, and drop your attachment to the emotion / problem / confusion. See the emotion bare as it is. Don't be attached to having it. The Buddha's way


Excerpts from Diamond Mind by Rob Nairn

pp87 -89

Let GO -

Letting go is a very highly disciplined action. It is the action of training ourselves to see and know and be present with that moment of arising (thought). Then to see the compulsive cycle of buying into the incoming thought through the three modes of grasping: grasping desire by trying to grab, grasping rejection by trying to push away, and grasping negation by trying to block it out. All three of these constitute grasping becasuse every time we engage in one of these we get caught in whatever thought or feeling is there, because it is all reactive. Any reactive movement within the mind leads to bondage as it does in life.

Let thoughts pass, let it happen

The Buddha illustrated this point

One day when Buddha was giving a lecture and a Brahmin got up and began insulting him. He raved for while and when he had finished the Buddha said,

"If somebody laid out a banquet in front of me, to whom would it belong?

"Obviously it would belong to the person who put it there," replied the Brahmin.

"And if the person offered it to me," continued the Buddha, "and I declined to accept it, whose would it be?"

"Well obviously it would remain the property of the person who put it there."

"Just so," declared the Buddha. "just so."

In our external relationships if people insult us and want to fight with us then that's their banquet, It becomes ours only if we choose to accept and engage it. It is exactly the same with all our thoughts and feelings. They are arising and passing but are problematic only because we pick them up. We make them ours, thus bringing a sense of egocentric possession to a situation that could have remained neutral. Only when the decision is made to appropriate the thought to ego-territory does grasping arise. When we don't do that then the mind relaxes, it is no longer caught up with all the thoughts and feelings and we understand what is meant by freedom. Freedom from thought.

The mind is now becoming more and more stable because it is no longer possible for the average change in thought / feeling to overwhelm the mind. The basis for this instablility is no longer there. Once again the basis for instability is our compulsive conviction that whatever arises has to be experienced in the sense of being grasped in one of the three modes. We no longer have that belief. We've learnt that we no longer have to do that.

Observer Consciousness and Activity Mind

The essence of meditation is training in mindfulness. This is done by resting the attention on an external meditation support (breathe), and returning to it every time it drifts away into thought. This action is possible because one part of the mind observes and identifies with thoughts and feelings as they arise. If we did not have this capacity for self-reflective awareness we would not know or realize we were thinking when thinking happens.

We call the part of mind that observes "observer consciousness," and the part that thinks and gets observed "activity mind". When we talk of the "thought", the word includes feelings and emotions.

Meditation Support

When we begin meditating, we need a reference point for the mind to prevent it getting lost in distraction. This is called a support. Breath is generally used. Sound is also a good support.

....Our task as meditators is to gradually create the conditions for the removal of what stands between us and the experience of the enlightened condition: the obscurations of the mind.

The obscurations are rooted in what we call mind poisons: greed, hatred, delusion, pride, an jealousy. (Lamas say that westerners have invented the sixth: guilt.)

In simple terms it means facing and becoming free from negativity. The path is neither to dwell on the negative nor deny it. It is a mature middle way of acknowledging the existence of negative and then setting out to do something about it. The path to freedom from negativity has the development of mindfulness as the foundation.

 

...p 24

Mindfulness can be defined as knowing what is happening while it is happening, no matter what it is.

Engaging Content

The mind is enslaved because it is continually engages content, identifying with thoughts and feelings as they arise and getting glued to them. With the development of bare attention this will change and the compulsive reactive response that causes us to pick up on thought will weaken.

The main reason we engage is that the mind carries messages which say,"it is normal", "this is how I am", "I should do this." This attitude of mind constitutes an inner authority that dominates and sometimes tyrannizes our thinking. The result is we can't observe our thoughts objectively, but are compelled to get in and change, control, get rid of (especially unwanted feelings), and so on. The basic steps are:

We identify with thought or feeling: "my thought," my feeling." This makes it important because it then becomes "me," the basis of "my" identity.

Until we understand this and challenge the underlying compulsive response, we remain in bondage.

above excerpts from Diamond Mind, A Psychology of Meditation by Rob Nairn


Training for Free - Emotional Intelligence Course

In each of the eight units you will learn about a key area of emotional intelligence, undertake self-assessment, prepare a personal action plan and undertake practical exercises to improve your skills.

Unit one: Improve personal innovation
Understanding your creative preferences and the ability to generate creative responses to business and personal problems. This unit gives you practical techniques to break old habits and develop new ways to generate ideas.


Unit two: Increase self-awareness
Make sure you really understand your personal strengths and weaknesses. This unit looks at the self-assessment of strengths, weaknesses, personal beliefs and feelings and how this links to the level of focus upon self-improvement.

Unit three: Develop personal intuition

This unit focuses upon the degree to which you use instincts, hunches and feelings (combined with facts) when making decisions. You'll explore instinctive feeling skills and how to develop the confidence to believe in gut reactions.

Unit four: Improve emotional management
Your ability to understand and differentiate your emotions is central here. So too is the ability to manage the impact your emotions have on others. In this unit you will learn to identify the triggers to negative emotions and how to develop positive alternative responses.

Unit five: Enhance individual goal orientation
In this unit the emphasis is on the desire to achieve, the ability to persist and the energy to see things through. You'll undertake exercises to help identify what truly motivates you to have drive and energy.

Unit six: Develop empathy skills

This is a measure of your ability to take an interest in others, to listen to them and to 'feel their feelings'. In this unit you will find out how to tune in to non-verbal cues to 'read' people better.

Unit seven: Improve social skills

There are many things that can be categorised as social skills. In this unit the main ones are focused upon building relationships and communicating. Learn how to build relationships based on deeper values in order to develop real trust.

Unit eight: Accelerate individual learning

The ability to learn far more quickly and flexibly is valuable and closely linked to emotions and feelings. This unit will help you to harness the power of left and right brain thinking and includes speed-reading techniques for fast results.


 

related books:

*****Dr Joshua David Stone, Soul Psychology - Highly recommended

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman - There was a time when IQ was considered the leading determinant of success. In this fascinating book, based on brain and behavioural research, Daniel Goleman argues that our IQ- idolising view of intelligence is far too narrow. Instead, Goleman makes the case for "emotional intelligence" being the strongest indicator of human success. He defines emotional intelligence in terms of self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, empathy and the ability to love and be loved by friends, partners, and family members. People who possess high emotional intelligence are the people who truly succeed in work as well as play, building flourishing careers and lasting, meaningful relationships. Because emotional intelligence isn't fixed at birth, Goleman outlines how adults as well as parents of young children can sow the seeds. --Amazon.com Daily Mail 'An impressive arguement that excellence is more than IQ'

Related Links

related pages:

Negative Feelings / States

Positive Emotions / States

Understanding people

Managing Emotions

Balancing Exercises

 

Understanding Life - you get what you deserve - you sow what you reap, not you sow what you need!

Success

Higher Goals

 


 


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