Love, Romance & Meaningful Relationships
These are basic
guidelines which are based on wide range of experience and research,
however I have found the key is just to be your - true-self and not to be attached to any outcome or expectations.
Be happy as who you are, not as trying to be somebody you are not!
Meet somebody who loves you for who you are - not somebody who loves you for your salary / car / breasts /mini skirt / makeup etc.
What happens when you get fired, lose the job, get wrinkly, bald or fat!
You can not know true love if you don not know your true self!
To truly love others , you need to love yourself first (but be confident not arrogant)
The rules of attraction
by Mary Ann Libaste
Do we (women) think you're sexy? Well, that all depends on your smiles, eyes, charm, build.
You can hardly blame today's men for not knowing where they stand when it comes to impressing us lot. One minute we're telling them that it's the sensitive, new-man approach that we like and the next, we're drooling over the "couldn't-care-less", bad boy antics of Liam Gallagher. A couple of recent polls carried out on the very subject should have given men a bit more of an idea about just what we think is sexy but they only proceeded to confuse them further still.
People magazine, the trashy American tabloid, recently announced that, according to their female readers at least, Richard Gere was the sexiest thing on two legs. Cosmo, meanwhile, decided that Gere didn't even warrant a place in their top 100, handing the ultimate accolade to Robbie Williams. So, what do we want - Gere's sophisticated, stylish, older man or Robbie's cheeky, lad about town? Here then, just for all the poor, confused boys out there, is Liv4now.com's guide to what maketh the idea man. The ladies choice
On the sexiness scale, nothing beats a smile. The right smile can set a woman's heart beating with anticipation even before you've introduced yourself. The sexiest by far has to be the slow, sly half smile that creeps across a handsome face, the kind of smile that insinuates something more. To complete the look of a sexy smile, there has to be a great set of lips. Forget different shapes and sizes, sexy lips have an immediate "kiss-me" quality in the form of soft, tender lips. So, men, perhaps using lip balm to protect your sexiest quality isn't so "girlie" after all.
Whatever they claim amongst friends, every woman wants their own personal Prince Charming - someone who'll open doors for them, hang upon their every word and treat them like Cinderella. But don't get carried away, real charm comes in the form of intelligent depth and sophistication - we don't want a suave tosser who promises the world and delivers an amoeba.
There's something sexy about a wild, mysterious twinkle in a man's eye that's a prelude to a secret, naughty side. Sexy eyes, regardless of colour, shade and shape, have the ability to do strange things to women and bring out a recklessness that some of us weren't even aware we had in us. A definite winner.
The dress sense
First impressions always count and no one notices what someone is wearing quite like a woman. You can have the body of David Beckham but if it's hidden away under a pair of ill-fitting jeans and a shocking, mustard-coloured, nylon shirt, you won't be coming anywhere near our bedrooms. We're not saying you have to spend a small fortune in Bond Street to turn us on (Shallow? Us? Never!) but we do like to think you've at least made a bit of an effort. . Jennifer Aniston's choice
The natural scent
Catching a hint of a man's natural scent sets off enough animal instincts in any woman to transform them into a passionate beast in (or out) of bed. Of course, if a man's natural scent bears a resemblance to the local lavs, then the ever-growing market of men's fragrances might come in handy!
As cute as the Michelin man may be, he's not exactly the epitome of sexiness. Neither though is the guy off the Mr Muscle advert. We're not asking you to move into a gym but as long as we can feel the rippling of a six or four-pack - if times are hard, we'll even settle for a two-pack - underneath your T-shirt, we're happy.
The facial hair
Forget two day's worth of shady stubble or adolescent bum fluff, well-groomed facial hair reeks of a mature, sexy attitude. You only have to look at sex-gods Denzil Washington and Michael Greco for proof that well-groomed facial hair highlights a certain pride in a guy's appearance. Be warned though, too much care and you're looking at a man so vain he'll spend longer getting ready than you!
The childlike, wild side
We want a man who'll dance in the rain with us, the kind of man who'll initiate a pillow-fight in bed or challenge us to game of Twister (naked, of course). A childlike, wild side is sexy because it showcases your careless, reckless. After all, what's wrong with casting aside the boring realities of adult responsibility every now and again and turning the clock back to those uncontrollable teenage years? The world's choice
Ever wondered what made Monica Lewinsky want to tackle Bill Clinton's tackle in the White House? Power. There's something unbelievably sexy about a man who takes charge with a natural force and control a situation. It probably says a lot about us girls that it's always men in uniforms (Royal Navy and firemen's spring to mind) that we fantasise about. The arrogance And finally, what really makes our stomach flip is the sheer arrogance that all great men possess. The type of man that can't even be bothered to glance in our direction, who believes they're just too good for any woman. It's this quality that makes them such a challenge. When you capture their heart, it's as if you've beaten them at their own game. We know they're bastards, but then, even bastards can be sexy!
attracting opposite sex
10 TERRIBLE PICK-UP LINES
There are various ways men in a loving relationship can impress their women; they can pay a thoughtful compliment and it never hurts to be tactile and show emotion - kissing and cuddling in public or being a comforting shoulder to cry on when things aren't going well buys a massive amount of brownie points. Romancing your other half by wining and dining them at swanky restaurants or buying nice things as a surprise goes down a storm.
However, getting to the relationship level means progressing beyond the dating stage and that will never happen if you're the type of man whose modus operandi consists of minging chat-up lines. With the assistance of Match.com, we've selected some of the very worst. Go up to any woman and use one of the lines below at your peril. Don't say we didn't warn you...
1. There must be something wrong with my eyes because I can't take them off you.
2. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
3. Does God know you've escaped from heaven?
3. Bond. James Bond.
4. Do you have a map because I'm lost in your eyes.
5. I'm here now darlin'. What were your other two wishes?
6. Haven't I seen you on the cover of Playboy?
7. I feel like Richard Gere because I'm standing next to the Pretty Woman.
8. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
9. Wow! Are those real?
10. You look so good, I could drink your bath water!
TIPS FOR A MEMORABLE FIRST DATE
Most singles agree that finding the right person to ask out, and then actually asking that person out, is the hardest part of dating. It's the anticipation of meeting new people and hoping that there's a connection.
Now that you've swallowed your fears, got that phone number and asked your potential match out... what do you do? How can you make a good first impression so that you have the chance to make a second one? With the assistance of Match.com, we've come up with ways to make that first date an unforgettable event for both of you.
1. BE INVENTIVE
Do something that allows you to talk, but not be focussed completely on each other (thus avoiding the uncomfortable silence that inevitably comes up every seven minutes or so). For example, go to an art exhibition or the taping of a TV show.
2. CLEAN UP YOUR ACT
Personal hygiene is essential to attraction. Do not, under any circumstances, step out of the house without freshening up. In addition, don't overdo it with your choice of scent; there's nothing more off-putting than an overpowering aftershave/perfume.
3. BE REALISTIC
Unreasonably high expectations will not do you any favours. Your goal is to have fun and get to know the other person better. Keep your feet firmly on the ground and you'll have a better chance of success.
4. TO THINE OWNSELF BE
Take Shakespeare's advice; focus on being you. If your date isn't given the opportunity to click with the real you, what's the point in going on?
5. DON'T BE TOO FLASHY
Don't go overboard with a five-course meal at the best restaurant in town or by hiring a private plane you might secure a second date under false pretences.
6. TAKE AN INTEREST
People want to be someone that makes them feel good. Don't let nerves distract you from showing interest in the conversation or laughing at jokes (if they're funny) or passing on a compliment.
7. AVOID, AVOID, AVOID!
NEVER discuss exes. It's a first date, not a post mortem.
8. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE
An unwelcome move can ruin the greatest of dates. Bide your time - don't rush, don't push and don't force. Let things happen naturally.
9. LET HER PAY
Men, women don't expect you to pay for everything. If your date offers to buy a round, decline gracefully once. If she insists, give in and offer to get the next one. Acquiescing shows respect.
10. CALLING ETIQUETTE
Most men want to wait a week before calling after a first date. Most women want to be called the next day. Compromise. Make it three days.
10 FLIRTING TIPS
If you've been on the receiving end of an accomplished flirt, you'll be aware of how flattering it can be.
Dictionaries invariably describe flirting as making "playfully romantic or playfully sexual overtures". That's all well and good but how do you know if you're a good flirter?
Fear not. With the assistance of Match.com, we've listed our top ten tips designed to have you flirting like a professional in no time!
GET AN ATTITUDE
A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!
START A CONVERSATION
The best opening line is simply saying, 'hello'. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the person youve got your eye on walks out of the bar or past you in the street, never to be seen again!
Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.
Never leave home without a prop because they are great natural conversation starters. Good props include: unusual jewellery, a distinctive bag, an interesting book, a foreign newspaper or international magazine etc.
Change your behaviour; don't be passive. If you like what you see, go for it!
GO IT ALONE
If you're with a group of friends, wait until you're alone before you approach someone. That way, if you're rejected, it's not in front of a gang of people.
Take the time to really listen to what's being said to you; listening is a true art and the person you're flirting with will appreciate it. Everyone loves to be heard.
Make eye contact, but dont stare its a turn off.
Compliment the person you're flirting with. The best compliments have an element of surprise about them, something that makes the 'flirtee' realise that you've noticed something telling about them.
SHOW THOSE PEARLY WHITES
Smile. It's contagious. A smile lights up your face and draws people to you. Try it!
Five Stages of Flirting
Nicole Kidman's an expert and Kylie would win an Olympic gold medal for it. What are we talking about? The fine art flirting, of course
According to new research by Oxfords Social Issue Research Centre (SIRC), every woman subconsciously flirts in the first few seconds of meeting a man to see if he is possible partner material or not. The research shows that over two-thirds of flirting is initiated by women: Flirting is governed by a complex set of unwritten laws of etiquette which dictate where, when, with whom and in what manner we flirt. We generally obey these unofficial laws instinctively, without being conscious of doing so.
Apparently, fluttering your eyelashes and making eye contact encourages a man to reveal his true intentions towards you. So you can decide whether to entice him back to your place or make a run for it.
Scientists have found that there are five distinct stages of subconscious flirting a woman uses to attract a man, starting with a youve got potential glance and ending with come and get me touching.
Stage one: Fleeting
A five-second peek at him, followed by another coy look, with a bit of eyelash fluttering and the hint of a smile.
Stage two: The gaze
You up the stakes by looking directly into his eyes for three seconds or more. No blinking this time and mouth slightly open.
Stage three: Hair touching
You run your fingers through your hair for up to six seconds the classic I want to make myself attractive to you action.
Stage four: Head tilting
Things start to heat up as you tilt your head sideways, exposing the erogenous zone of your neck.
Stage five: Touching
Its game on as you touch his shoulder with your hand subconsciously, youre taking an interest in how he looks.
The problem with all this is that men can mistake this vetting process for a come-on, only to be knocked back. Men tend to mistake friendliness for sexual interest, says Kate Fox of SIRC. But this time its their subconscious thats taking over. Men are evolutionary programmed to be optimistic so they are more likely to succeed in passing on their genes.
SOURCE: SOURCE: Daily Mail, SIRC, The Sun
Finding a partner
10 WAYS TO GET A WOMAN
Giving your love life a boost might be as simple as changing the way you introduce yourself. With the assistance of Match.com, we've compiled a few ideas to give you a fresh start and a new foot in the dating door.
1. MAKE HER LAUGH
Start with a joke. A good one. Its a great icebreaker and if its genuinely funny youve got a good chance. If you get a laugh, go on to introduce yourself. If you dont, get out fast.
2. MAKE EYE CONTACT
Most women like attention, but they dont necessarily want you to gawk, stare and ogle to get it. Instead, use your eyes to show her that youre genuinely interested and sincere.
3. ASK HER OPINION
Ask her advice on an important matter what you should get your sister for her birthday, for example. This shows that you value her input and that you think she has good taste.
4. OPEN UP ONLINE
The next time you introduce yourself online, do it with a little flair. Start with a romantic or funny story or create a riddle with an answer that reveals something about yourself (join Match.com for free right now and share your wit and wisdom with someone else).
5. ACT INNOCENT
If you want to introduce yourself without appearing overly suggestive, use a little charm and play down your intentions, for example: "Im not trying to pick you up; I just wanted to know if youve ever been to such and such, because I'm sure Ive seen you there before, and I didnt want you to think I was rude because I didn't say 'hello' to you."
6. ASK FOR AN INTRODUCTION
If youre feeling extra confident, go for the direct approach and simply ask: "Would you like to have dinner with me?"
7. BE CHARMING
Some one-liners can be effective and irresistible if done right. Even the corny ones like these groaners: "If Brad Pitt doesnt show, Ill be right over here" and "Is it hot in here or is it just you?"
8. BE BRAVE
Subtlety has its place, but sometimes it's best to just go for it. After sizing up the situation and how much time you have to work with, you may just want to come right out and say what's on your mind.
9. BE SLY
Walk by and accidentally-on-purpose drop something near her (like some loose change). Use the time that you're retrieving said item to break the ice...
10. BACK TO BASICS
A novel idea. Try this opener: "Hi, my name is. . . Nice to meet you."
THE ART OF ONLINE DATING
Online dating tends to make us very goal-oriented. We fill out a free profile (you can do so right here at Match.com) and outline our perfect man or woman. He should be a tall, non-smoker with a good sense of humour who knows how to cry. She should be a slim, social drinker who appreciates acid jazz and the offside rule.
Other members profiles seduce us as we read them; dark hair? Great. Interesting, artsy job? Cool. Loves R&B? Fab.
And sometimes, a profile may turn us off; his favourite movie is "Rambo III"? Her favourite movie is "Steel Magnolias"? Next!
After all, there's always another chance to find that special someone. And if you're using the Internet to find love, take note of these tips because there is an art to online dating.
Stay open to the possibilities.
As any veteran blind-dater knows, the person who looks great on paper can leave a lot to be desired in 3-D. Often though, it works the other way the guy who likes slasher movies or the woman who admits that she smokes like a chimney, can turn out to be great. So we're not saying that you shouldn't have standards because after all, you're choosing a romantic partner, not a sofa. A bit of pickiness is in order. But dating online also presents an excellent opportunity to experiment and let go of your preconceived ideas about what a good mate is.
Instead of focusing on the vital stats, pay attention the tone of the profile. Does he sound modest or egotistical? Funny or stuffy? What does she seem most proud of? Her job? Where she went to school? The fact that she once dated a soap star? Is he consistently negative, only describing what he doesnt like or what he wont accept?
Just for fun, try dating someone who's not your type. If you're an Artist who only dates Arty types, drop a line to that Software Engineer whose profile made you laugh. If you're a die-hard city boy, consider commuting to the suburbs to meet that girl who runs her own shop. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Its your chance
If the worst comes to the worst and you end up having a disastrous first date, believe it or not, you can still use the opportunity to improve at the art of dating. No matter how boring or unsuitable the person sitting across the restaurant table turns out to be, remember that, like you, they're just trying to connect with someone. So even if you know in the first ten minutes that theres no spark, don't listen to the part of you that wants to hurry home. Instead, find something interesting about your date and focus on that. It will pay off in the long run.
If finding a romantic partner was the same as finding a great job or getting into a prestigious school, then the most hard-working and ambitious of people would prevail every time. Fortunately, love doesn't work that way because it is maddeningly illogical; you can work really hard to find love showing up for awful blind dates, logging countless hours surfing away only to meet your soulmate at the bus stop.
In love with love
So if love is so elusive, why bother pursuing it? If online dating is a shot in the dark, why devote any time to them at all? Answer: because it lowers the stakes. That's why.
If you're always dating and always meeting people, then you eliminate your need to have each evening turn into a fairy tale. You learn how to treat your date with kindness and respect, even if the evening is disappointing; you learn to maintain your self-worth even when someone fails to appreciate you. And most importantly, you learn to see your own worth.
Love cannot be captured with a simple email, but it can be cultivated. Reaching out to someone and saying, "Hi. Loved your profile," is a great way to start. What are you waiting for? Start searching today!
Creative Visualization -
Manifesting the opportunity to meet your ideal mate
Visualise yourself with a beautiful nice partner - being with her / him, in a nice environment. Better not to specify exact measurements and attributes.
Feel her / his soft touch or just feel Love
See the beauty of the smile /eyes / body / soul
Hear the sound of angels playing harps ( or heavy panting / screeeeaming)
Know that it is possible now!
Ask God or yourself to attract to yourself the ideal mate for your highest good.
Know that you are worthy of an ideal mate, the time is getting nearer
Have trust and faith that your request will be granted (as long as for highest good of all)
release this to the universe with the knowing that you shall receive what you have asked for!
Thank & Bless the universe / cosmos / Life force / God.
affirm "I am worthy of an attractive, intelligent and fun partner"
you need to have right relationship with self (don't say to self - 'what a fat loser, I'll always be single!!')
"Day by day I am becoming more and more attractive, slim and vibrant"
Don't be attached to any outcomes. Love will cum when the time is right.
Making a move
Preparation for a date (& for finding date)
however there some people who are attracted to the rough, dirty look. Maybe the care-taker / nurturing side of them wants to mother them - (If u - be careful not to become co-dependent & critical when novelty wears off)
better not to get too religious / political on first date.
Cinema not always good as first date - better to talk more, but have something to do or look at when there's silence is good too, eg. art exhibition
be comfortable with silence - out of not knowing infinite possibilities are available
at end of date
many men/ women may not know what they want - so show them the way - some like to be dominated
many men know what they want; grab it ....or don't!! However, many men like a challenge / chase!
If you have sweaty hands, have a tissue in pocket
If nothing to say, just be relaxed and watch & listen to your environment for cues - or do something!
Before dates, pray for guidance & strength
If having long term difficulty getting a relationship and you seem to be doing everything right
check feng shui in house & in your mind - maybe part of you doesn't feel ready for a relationship - eg. independent responsible side is happy and fears change & letting go
If going to someones house let a friend know the name, address & number
Don't be too desperate or too aloof - these can be misinterpreted
be careful not to become codependent & critical when novelty wears off)
If always attracting the same type of guys, think why - maybe you need to resolve that part of yourself that they demonstrate
If you are responsible, organised, responsible, nurturing, like control- you might attract chaotic, disorganised, irresponsible, immature, needy partners
Try not masturbating. Conserve Jing Chi (sexual energy) According to Tao, should not ejaculate more than every four days. I've heard your your pheromones increase the more you conserve semen.
Learn to use your sexual energy for higher purposes -
Highly successful businessmen / women have high sex drives but use it for work - that's one of the reasons why most men become successful after 40 yrs old - they learn to harness their energy!
it most men that long - imagine what you could do!
take a few deep breaths - visualising energy rise from genitals up along the spine to your crown - feel how clear that feels - it actually works!
At the end of the day, i think, there may be no right or wrong, only consequences. And we need to responsible for our choices
Each of us has an inner wisdom. 'Be still and know'
The key is to be yourself and act in moderation. When you are confident being just you -the opposite sex will come to you like bee's to honey ...you will have a mysterious, charming, seductive, sexy, attractive. 'je ne sais crois' about you and in your eyes / look.
because you will be comfortable and confident with yourself (but humble & confident not arrogant) - the opposite sex (as well as same one - you have been warned!!!) will want to learn from you and just be around you.
Many Women want security; Love & Power - money (to pay bills, perfume, makeup, shoes, handbags, etc,) & good build helps ( V shape- broad shoulders thin waist).
'Women's emotions are like waves' - emotions go in ups then downs then up etc. Sometimes have to go deeper before going up again.
Many Men want sex & Love - but for long term relationships
Men are like elastic bands. - can stretch & stretch but finally snap - Then
men treat women how men want to be treated, women often treat men how women want to be treated.
possible solution: treat a woman how she wants to be treated:
excited, adventure, romanced, flowers, slow, teasing, sensual, delicate, fun, suprised, (dominated)
Another problem is that sex has been a repressed taboo for so long - when there is supression & repression it leads to perversion.
Don't be a pervert be natural, innocent, pure but wise!
money/ job/ career, status, power, looks, cuddly, intelligence, dancing moves, - want whole package
adventurous, good looking, sense of humour, spontaneous, boyish & manly, bit scruffy& clean cut, james bond, gentleman & rough
spark, instant 'phroahhh',
feel in heart that right person
for some men - women confusing, even frightening
is it all about looks? - is and it isn't
perhaps addicted to thrill of the chase
searching too much
list of criteria
Beware as age goes up pool of eligible men drops down
men are becoming more like women
& women are becoming more like men
Five Signs of A great Lover
Forget designer clothes or a flashy car. A lover doesn't have to look like Adonis to be great in bed. Your Psychic can reveal exactly what lies beneath your date's geeky exterior. If he exhibits any of following signs, it's a safe bet that he is going to rock your world.
Gym membership. A date who regularly works out will not only have an increased level of stamina, but will also be more comfortable with his or her own body.
Great memory. While a pop quiz on the capitals of all 50 states is not necessary, a date who remembers small details about your life, will notice what turns you on and remember how to do it over and over again.
Good conversationalist. Someone who can discuss a variety of subjects and enjoys the give and take of good communication can easily transfer such verbal skills to the physical plane.
Works with his hands. When someone tells you they are a machinist or carpenter, you may not see dollar signs, but you are probably in the presence of someone who will hold you tenderly and know what to do once the touching starts.
Likes a variety of music. Check out your date's CD collection. Unusual combinations, such as Everclear and Beethoven or Eminem and Bob Dylan, indicate a lover who knows a wide variety of pleasurable experiences instead of relying on one tired technique.
The key is to be your true self
Visualize, Feel, Know what you want and need
Use you Intuition / gut feeling
Be aware of coincidences & signs -
Go with the flow and you will be in the right place at the right time!
Obviously everybody is an individual - so do what works best for you. This is only a basic set of guidelines that seems to work for me - feel free to improvise & adapt.
If you distribute this please mention http://www.sortlifeout.co.uk and other sources if appropriate.
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