What is Love?
Love is the Way


"They do not love that do not show their love. " ~ William Shakespeare
(The Two Gentlemen from Verona)

"Love's best habit is a soothing tongue."
: William Shakespeare

Love seeketh not itself to please,
nor for itself hath any care,
but for another gives its ease,
and builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.

- William Blake -

Love is to stand before your Beloved, striped naked of all attributes, so that His qualities become your qualities. Al-Haiiaj

Some day, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, . . . we shall harness . . . the energies of love. Then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.


"The Cure for all ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows, and the crimes of humanity, all lie in the one word 'love'. It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life." Lydia Maria Child

"Life in abundance comes only through great love." Elbert Hubbard

"For love is stronger than death", as we read in the Song of Songs. "Many waters cannot quench love, no flood can sweep it away. If a man were to offer for love the whole wealth of his house, it would be utterly scorned" (8.6-7).

More quotes about Love at the bottom of the page


True love is un-conditional - giving without expecting to receive

Love is about understanding, support, forgiveness, kindness, joy, respect & acceptance (and more!)

Love is what unites and bonds all. It is difficult to find someone who has no capacity for love!

If you think about it, what is it that really bonds people together - eg. mother and child .....Love!

The phenomenon of LOVE is ineffable: It can not be expressed in words. However, its manifestations can be experienced, but only on the four highest (of the total of seven) levels of human consciousness.

Notwithstanding this ineffability, two philosophers have said:

LOVE is the Cement of the Universe (Beesley)

LOVE, in its essence, is Spiritual Fire. (Swedenborg)

Some cosmologists speculate that LOVE may be the fifth basic-force in the Universe. (Unified-Theory)

What is True Love?

Love is a process and no words can fully desribe it - One needs to experience it -

However we can point towards it and by understanding the process open ourselves to more love

True Love is one of the most misunderstood concepts of our time. While everyone is looking and longing for the perfect partner, they are missing the point entirely. True Love is not to be found in any one person. *True Love is a state of consciousness wherein we embody the One Heart.* It is an all encompassing state of pure Love. While this can be experienced with another person, it is the love, not merely the relationship, that is true.

Manuel Schoch suggests we have love receptors - as we have other feeling receptors.

eg. we know a lemon is bitter because we can sense it

Likewise we know what love is when we feel it.

So the ability to love or be loved is not dependent on others -eg. we can not blame our parents, school, society for inability to love ourselves / others now.

True love is giving without expecting to receive

However by giving, you naturally receive because what goes around comes around,

Also by learning to receive you will automatically give love. Quite often people are not happy because they subconciously think they are unworthy of love.

The truth may be that by helping others you are really helping yourself!

Need to Learn how to give and receive love.

Need to love / heal yourself first before you can fully help others

True love in action is acceptance

TRUE LOVE? questions to help you decide:

From 'Ally McBeal'

Ally with Counsellor -when Ally asked, 'should I love John Cage..he'd make a great father!'

Counsellor replies: you are begging the assumption that love is voluntary....true love can often be narrowed down to three anecdotal Questions:

Paraphrased. Ally McBeal - E4 - 24th March 2002 - Episode - Jenny's B'day

More quotes in Ally McBeale

'he who refuses to be hurt by love, risks destroying himself!'

'pain doesn't disappear/ decompose if you bury it!'

When it comes to a career

'Either do what you love or love what you do'


When in a relationship

'it is better to have loved and lost, than to have not loved at all'

There are said to be at least three main ways in which partners like to give and receive love


  1. Verbally & Auditory - by saying 'I love you'
  2. Through Actions - by taking out to restaurants and giving presents etc.Through sharing intimacy and affection - hugs and petting etc.
  3. Visually

(don't quote me on above - not 100% sure!)

Now most individuals show two of the above. So you can see that your partner may well love you but doesn't show it in the way that you want to see it!

Problems occur if the male for instance never says I love you and is not intimate, he only takes her out...to the pub and fish & chip shop. His partner may feel unloved because maybe she expects to feel love through hugs and kisses.


Possible Definitions of Love

Love is a a constant longing,

GOD is Love without the longing

Love can be either the most powerful motivation for growth or the most destructive force in your life -- it all depends on the kind of love you have embraced.

According to Rubin (1970), love has three components: (1) an affiliative and dependent need, (2) a predisposition to help, and (3) exclusiveness and absorption. Liking is more closely akin to friendship.

In his research, Wong has found that liking can be negatively related to passionate love ; in other words, you may be madly in love with someone you dislike, because you mind tells you that he or she is "bad news", but your heart is still lovesick.

According to Tennov (1979), love is different from limerence. Love is mutual, and is characterized as a great affection and concern for the welfare of the beloved. Limerence, on the other hand, is passionate love gone wild. It begins with a spark of interest, and under appropriate conditions, can grow into enormous intensity. Limerence is a state of cognitive obsession, an unrealistic hope of reciprocation. Almost every trivial utterance or behavior on the part of the limerent object is misconstrued as a sign of love, which keeps the hope of reciprocation alive. A tiny bit of reciprocation, whether motivated by pity of vanity, will result in feelings of euphoria, which inevitably turn to despair and misery. However, limerence can grow into love, when it is completed fulfilled.

Peele and Brodsky (1975) also differentiate between addictive love and genuine love. Addictive love occurs when a person is totally absorbed in the love object in order to escape from an otherwise meaningless and unhappy existence. Such obsession distracts from a person's ability to pay attention to important aspects of his or her life. Prolonged separation or termination of the relationship can cause "withdrawal symptoms" similar to those of a drug addict.

Lee (1973) has developed a typology consisting of six types of love: (1) Eros, where the lovers search for someone with specific physical characteristics; (2) pragma, where potential love-objects are rationally considered; (3) agape, where the person loves without expectation of reciprocation; (4) ludus, where love is treated as agape; (5) storage, which is similar to compassionate love, and (6) mania, which is similar to addiction love, characterized by cognitive obsession as well as emotional peaks and valleys.

Lee (1973) describes manic lovers as extremely possessive and needy. Unless they become involved with another manic lover, they are likely to be very dissatisfied in their relationships, since no other style can tolerate their excessive possessiveness and intense insecurity.

Sternberg (1986) views love as a triangular structure, consisting of three components: intimacy, passion and decision/commitment. Various combinations of these components result in eight kinds of love: (1) nonlove (absence of the three components),(2) liking (intimacy in isolation), (3) infatuation (passion), (4) empty love (decision/commitment), (5) romantic love (passion and intimacy), (6) compassionate love (intimacy and decision/commitment), (7) fatuous love (passion and decision/commitment), and (8) consummate love (which includes all three components.)

"The above review of the literature indicates that researchers have not come to grips with the prevalence and important implications of unrequited love, which remains an under-researched area. The present conceptual and empirical analysis of unrequited love is part of a larger research program on its process and consequences. It remains a challenge for psychologists to incorporate the construct of unrequited love within the broader framework of intimate relationships. The literature, music and films are replete with themes of forlorn love.

Judging from newspaper advice columns, magazine articles and self-help books (i.e., Halpern, 1983; Phillips & Judd, 1978), the problem of unrequited love seems both serious and widespread. It is not surprising that popular interest in unrequited love has remained unabated, because more often than not people are not able to win the affection of the man or woman of their dream and suffer much as a result. When one's love is not reciprocated, a host of negative reactions might follow. In extreme cases, a person may be driven to attempt suicide in order to escape the pain. However, even in milder cases unrequited love causes pain and may interfere with a person's daily functioning. Unfortunately, such an important and common human experience has not been subjected to theoretical or empirical analysis. Part of the reason for this glaring gap in the absence of a valid instrument to quantity this experience. The present paper will introduce such an instrument after a conceptual analysis of the different kinds of unrequited love. Unrequited love, as it is commonly known, involves situations in which one person passionately loves an unresponsive object.

Tennov (1979) has provided numerous examples of forlorn love. Lee's (1973) manic lover and Hazan & Shaver's (1987) anxious ambivalent lover also fall into this category. Each of these describes an intense craving for intimacy, an irresistible cognitive obsession with the love object, and prolonged sufferings caused by rejection and jealousy. The driving force is not sexual gratification, but reciprocation of romantic interest and devotion. We refer to this type of obsessive love as the Classic unrequited love.

There is a second major type of unrequited love which involves a different kind of dynamics.

Norwood (1985) wrote a book on women who 'love too much.' While she admits that this experience is not solely restricted to women, she believes it is more common in this sex, and therefore confines her analysis to females. These women constantly seek out unhappy relationships with men who are moody, bad-tempered, uncaring and abusive. The interesting finding is that in some cases once the man becomes reformed and begins to show love and kindness, the woman may 'dump' this man in favour of another destructive relationship. Apparently, these women are not interested in reciprocation.

Norwood believes that these women deliberately seek out unloving and self-destructive relationships, because their highly negative early family experiences have made them uncomfortable with any real intimacy. Such family situations include those in which at least one of the parents was uncaring, abusive and alcoholic. These women may attempt to relive these relationships in order to 'fix' whatever that was wrong in their early family life and to gain the love that was once denied them. Another driving force that operates in these women is their need to be needed.

The feeling of being needed gives them a sense of self-worth. Therefore, they prefer unequal relationships in which they play the role of willing martyrs. This type of unrequited love is referred to as co-dependent unrequited love, because it has many of the same characteristics of co-dependency in the field of alcoholic addiction (Cermak, 1986; Schaef, 1986).

Co-dependency is a term used to describe those people whose lives are completely intertwined with a drug/alcohol addict, such as a spouse or lover. The co-dependent identifies with their love object to the extent of losing his/her own identity. The needs and problems of the addict are taken on by the co-dependents as their own. The co-dependents choose to get stuck in a painful relationship, because of their neurotic need to be needed and their own insecurity. Thus, unlike classic unrequited love where the ultimate goal is union, the goal of the co-dependent is the fulfilment of a need to be needed, no matter how unloving and painful the relationship is.

The third kind of unrequited love is less intense, and more common-hence the term minor unrequited love. This type is characterized by one's perception that one's partner does not reciprocate one's love to a similar degree. Minor unrequited love may be only a distorted perception or it may be an accurate portrayal of the situation. In either case, it may result in feelings of dissatisfaction and upset. The practical implications of studying unrequited love are many. Because it is a negative and potentially destructive experience, psychopathology may develop. Even minor unrequited love may cause marital breakdown and may adversely affect other areas of the person's life. In any event, research on unrequited love will provide a better understanding of a major source of personal relationship difficulties and emotional distress."

Author Unknown , if you know source please let me know.

Thank you for the article.


What does the word "love" require of you?

'For sixty-five years I have been putting my mind and hand to articulating a modern statement of basic beliefs intended to cover a broad perspective on what the word love entails in developing a viable individual and social orientation to life:

1-feelings of awe, wonder and gratitude for the gift of life; a positive prevailing attitude that the purpose of life is good living

2-attaining a realistic acceptance of and respect for oneself; an habitual fair appraisal of one's potentialities and limitations.

3-accepting the assumption that most people can be trusted; that we are necessarily inter-related and inter-dependent.

4-that the work we have to do is a reasonable obligation; and may in time become a "vocation", even a "calling."

5-that living in this world requires moral integrity, the taking of spiritual responsibility and in having faith; (faith as reverent risk taking, patient resignation and childlike trust).

6-and finally, living in this world as a mature human being requires the making of and maintaining prevailing commitments; such as commitments to vital companionships; to free societies; to justice law and order; to the search for truth, the quest for beauty, and the struggle for excellence; to humane causes, those who are perscecuted for good works, the immortality of influence, and a coming worldwide humane civilization.

What does the word "love" require of you?

Faithfully, Vaughan Dr. A. Vaughan Abercrombie'

In response to this Greg Naso wrote

'What does the word "love" require of you? I think that alot of people think that love requires you to do things that sound right!!! and as Micheal wrote "Do justice...love kindness...walk humbly with God." be forgiving, be humble, be kind, be respectful, do good things, etc but (with all due respect to the bible) love is unconditional, in the sense it has no conditions to do this or that! What love requires of you is to simply to be YOURSELF! '

Love is a seed, the choice to express acceptance. Every moment offers this opportunity.

Being Love

by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.

The first principle of Attitudinal Healing is: The essence of our being is love .

What, then, is love? Because it must be experienced in order to be meaningful, I can't define it for you except to say that it is the total absence of fear and the recognition of complete union with all life. We love another when we see that our interests are not separate. This is always a union of higher minds and not an alliance of egos.

It isn't possible to evaluate or prove love in the usual ways. The fact that we are not able to measure it does not make it less real. We have all had glimpses of pure, unconditional love, and there is unquestionably a part of us that knows it exists. We become aware of love whenever we choose to accept people without judging them and commence the gentle effort of giving without any thought of getting something in return. This means, for example, that true love is not giving in order to change another's attitude from a bad mood to one of lightheartedness or from ingratitude to one of thanks to us. True love is a completely pure and unencumbered form of giving. It is extended freely to the love in others and is its own reward.

The word love, as we generally use it, means something quite different from real love. It is conditional love -- giving in order to get. It is a bargain, a trade arrangement. This is often fairly obvious in romantic relationships in which each partner is giving with the expectation that it will be returned in the specific form that is desired. Conditional love is also what passes for kindness in most parent/child relationships. Here, the extension of love is contingent on approved behavior and attitudes. Parents frequently seek an affirmation of their own worth through the accomplishments of their child and through "payments" of respect. Children often love their parents only when they get what they think they want, whether this be a new possession or approval and praise. Such love is neither dependable nor permanent, and its temporary nature causes us to carry the underlying fear that we are about to be abandoned.

When we are giving true love, our concern is not with our own or anyone else's behavior. We feel natural because we recognize that love is our natural state. We are not aware of limitations. We don't question the possibility of devotion, and we are not preoccupied with time. We are only conscious of now and all it contains. When we are extending love, we are free and at peace. Attitudinal Healing shows us how to allow ourselves to experience this kind of love -- the only love that is eternal.

Love Is Our Essence

We all say that we want to have less conflict, fear, stress, and depression. And deep within our hearts we do want this. But on the level from which we function most of the time, we rarely choose peace over conflict and happiness over fear because of the sacrifices we believe this choice must entail. We also believe that there is satisfaction in revenge, that we can be right by proving someone else wrong, that to humble someone who is being difficult will give us "a little peace and quiet." It seems logical to us to be stern with our children in order to teach them gentleness. We think that there are people who deserve to lose because of their behavior and that the pain they receive is just. We try to increase love with one person by excluding others. We mistake guilt for attraction; we believe that pain can be pleasurable and that taking is getting. Then we are puzzled as to why this approach to life does not bring us peace, and yet we see no reason to change our basic beliefs.

It is obvious that we need an experience which will bring clarity to our mind. The experience we all need more of is love. In order to move more deeply into an atmosphere of love, we must identify less with the body and more with our love-related emotions. These are the feelings that speak to us of what has always been within us but what our shabby self-image has not allowed us to see. To recognize it we have to bring it forth, for only by extending what is good can we know and believe in the good within us and that we ourselves are good. However, to bring it out does not always mean to act it out but rather to bring it into our hearts and minds.

A preoccupation with the body and its behavior does not allow love to flood our mood, because the body is merely what is different and separate. In order to love, we must recognize what is the same within us and all living things. The love in us can unite with the love in others, but two bodies can never become one.

Emotions that center on the body and exclude others are negative or self-denying. As a first step, we must honestly and gently question our investment in how our body looks -- in how we have adorned it, honored it, and employed it and in how we calculate the fair amount of credit, thanks, influence, money, or popularity that our body should receive. To the degree that we value our body identity, we tend to downplay or ignore altogether our real identity, which is love.

This gentle questioning does not call for impulsive or drastic changes in behavior or lifestyle. It calls for nothing more than simple, calm noticing, especially inner noticing. Once we recognize our true value, if any external changes are needed, these will occur naturally and in their own time. If we become preoccupied with what we do rather than how we do it, we needlessly delay ourselves. Attitudinal Healing is concerned only with how. Are we acting with love, with peace, with happiness, and with certainty? If we are, whatever we do will promote those states.

A preoccupation with other people's bodies and bodily behavior leads us to believe that our body determines what kind of person we are and what kind of relationships we must settle for. We may get momentary pleasure from the fact that others seem less attractive than we do, and some people may be drawn to us because of our personality or special accomplishments, but we always know in our heart that relationships based on such things are shallow and fleeting. We really don't want people to be attracted to us because of our bodies but because of what there is about us that is changeless and timeless. We want people to understand us and love us because they truly see us. They cannot do this while relating to us only as a body. We want to be aware, and we want others to be aware, of the golden glow from within and not merely the glitter of surface appearances. The part of us with which we identify determines this outcome. What we put forth, mentally and emotionally, is what others relate to. We are either extending gentleness, joy, kindness, openness, and peace or we are hiding behind a purely physical identification. We can't do both, because one is love and the other is fear.

Many things we do not understand simply because we are not yet in a position to do so. This is why patience with other people's experiences and points of view is not only a comfort to them but a relief to us as well. Love overlooks differences, for it notices something of far greater importance: how much alike we are because how much like love itself we are. Once we see this honestly, we quickly begin to lose our fear of others and to gain confidence in our potential harmlessness as well. The more we enfold others in this harmlessness, through releasing our own mind of defensiveness and suspicion, the more we begin to glimpse the vast harmlessness of the universe and how utterly impossible it would be for any living thing to suffer for very long in any true sense. There is an end to pain. There is a point beyond which misery cannot go. Never are we left comfortless.

This article is excerpted from Teach Only Love , ©2000, by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D. Beyond Words Publishing. www.beyondword.com

Heart & Soul

"Heart is the central point of Man's soul, where the mundane and the divine are reconciled. It is the nature of the Heart to seek only that which is truly good; i.e. what is beneficial to the whole and not merely the parts. Its vibration is that level of energy known to us as Love." : MOVING ON TO PERFECTION:The Gospel of the Dawn.

We are all members of the human family, it is about time we started acting like it! We should love everyone as equals and treat them as brothers and sisters. ie. as part of our family. ('love thy neighbour')

After sharing comes trust. After trust there is justice, freedom and peace. (Law of Giving & Receiving)


Quotes about Love


You want to be loved because you do not love; but the moment you love, it is finished, you are no longer inquiring whether or not somebody loves you. - J. Krishnamurti

‘You can’t realise love or yourself until you are still enough to drop down through the restlessness and frustrations into that deeper level of your being.’ by Barry Long

"love is an act of will" Scott Peck

"They do not love that do not show their love. " ~ William Shakespeare
(The Two Gentlemen from Verona)

"Love's best habit is a soothing tongue."
: William Shakespeare

Quote: Love all, trust a few;
Do wrong to none.
Author: William Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well)
Source: Bartlett's Familiar Quotations
Keywords: love trust integrity friendship relationship

Quote: Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
Author: William Shakespeare, Venus and Adonis
Source: Bartlett's Familiar Quotations
Keywords: love solace comfort

Love seeketh not itself to please,
nor for itself hath any care,
but for another gives its ease,
and builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.

- William Blake -

Love is to stand before your Beloved, striped naked of all attributes, so that His qualities become your qualities. Al-Haiiaj

Quotes by Kahlil Gibran

'Limited Love asks for possession of the beloved, but the unlimited asks only for itself' Kahlil Gibran

'Love is the only freedom in the world because it so elevates the spirit that the laws of humanity and the phenonmena of nature do not alter its course.'

'Love is the only flower that grows and blossoms without the aid of seasons.'

'Love that does not renew itslef every day becomes a habit and in turn a slavery.'

'There is neither religion nor science beyond beauty'

Quotes by Amma, about Love

"In this universe it is love that binds everything together. Love is the very foundation, beauty and fulfillment of life.'

'When love overflows and is expressed through every word & deed, we call it Compassion. That is the goal of religion.'

Nearer than the Nearest:

'Children, you may search for God everywhere, but you won't find Him because He is closer to you than you could ever imagine. He appears to be far away, only for as long as you remain, ignorant. Remove your ignorance, wake up and be aware; then you will realize that God is 'nearer than the nearest.' Awaken Children


Related books:

Making Love : Sexual Love the Divine Way by Barry Long - Audio - (Order Now! - UK

To Woman In Love, A book of letters

Also available in Finnish and Portuguese

- Purchase From Barry's Site


related links & articles:

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